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This blog is for every parent who asked why and didn't get an answer.

Asked the questions; "Where do I go next?" "What do I do?" "Who can I talk to?" "I want to cry and I"m so scared; who is out there for me?"

Every diagnosis of Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder is not the same nor the parents experience. But, we can pull together, share our thoughts and have a safe community to go to. That is what I envision this place to be. A haven for self, family and our children.

Much love and faith to you on your journey.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

My word....Wednesday was a day!  Cary and I had our "date."  Such joy.  I love spending time with my favorite guy.  BUT....isn't there always one?!  We passed by and rode.....elevators.  Vickie, I"m so sorry.  I was tired of fighting.....I know, I know.  Trust me....That's all I"ve heard about for the past 24 hours.  Atleast it gives me a renewed vow to deal with it.

During lunch, not so bad.  I had him at Hubbel and Hudson in the cafe area.  We sat in a corner without the "E" being visible.  We managed to get through lunch with him getting a little excited by the microwave.  Being in a busy place by one of his favorite things and having buttons to push.  Mild recipe for "learning." 

It wasn't too bad.  EXCEPT, I added insult to injury.  I let him have a off diet cupcake.  (I don't know where all the places are to find acceptable desserts and sweets in the Woodlands).  BAD move.  (melt down in the car on the way home when I tried to hand him the phone to talk to Papa and another two un-preciptated small ones. )  We also went to the Mezzaine level at H and H so I could drink some coffee.  (needed the energy!) 

BUT the coolest part of his idiosyncratic ways; we are at the MZ level and he hears California Dreamin' by the Mamas and the Papas.  He looks at this table of 2 ladies and says "Listen, it's California Dreamin by the Mamas and the Papas."  I loved it!  Now, they had been watching us the entire time we were up there.  Probably because Cary was sitting by the big "E" to watch the doors or laying on his stomach so he could look at .....something with the "E".  I don't think they knew what to make of it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-aK6JnyFmk

Then I watched Loving Lamposts on Netflix.  It was all about Autism; varying degrees of it, treatment etc.  I came away with many things.  Most of all I"m scared.  I'm scared of what the future holds, of not treating Cary in the right way; raising him the best way I know how; getting him ready for the future; helping him "grow-up" and navigate the life. 

He is going to have a girl friend in 6-8 years.  He will be going to college in 10 years.  I"m scared.  I've got to let go some, but I"m scared.  I just want to protect my baby as much as I can.  I don't want anyone to ever harm him, hurt him; etc. 

Every parent goest through this; but a parent of a child with Autism - 100 fold more.  We have so many more things to think about in addition to the "NT" things of most parents.  It just is.....

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